How the types are related: Social triad
The nine Enneagram types are uniquely different, but some of them are interrelated in deep and meaningful ways. “Triads” are the mechanism that Enneagram scholars use to group certain Enneagram types together and highlight their important commonalities.
The Social triad (also known as “Hornevian Groups”) describes the social style of each Enneagram type—how they try to get their needs met in social situations. Each type pursues one of three social strategies in order to feel fulfilled: comply, demand, or withdraw.
Compliant types
The Compliant triad includes 1s, 2s, and 6s. These types comply with their superego, their higher values and beliefs, to figure out how to do right by others in social situations.
It is important to them to be principled and responsible, to act according to their internalized idea of what it means to be a good person. When they walk into a room, they often feel a sense of superiority, subconsciously judging or analyzing whether what’s going on around them is up to their expectations. While this is often expressed subtly, it stems from a desire to do “the right thing.”
They are reliable, hard workers who look for ways to be of service to others. Their awareness of social dynamics often leads them to prioritize the needs of those around them over their own. While they are quick to ease any social tensions or lend a supporting hand, they may be overly critical and disapproving of others, making others feel that they are not good enough.
At their best, Compliant types are the glue of social situations: smoothing interpersonal dynamics, making people feel at home, and always showing up as a respectful and well-liked member of the group.
Demanding types
The Demanding triad includes 3s, 7s, and 8s, all of whom take an active and direct approach to getting their needs met in social situations. When they arrive on the scene, they assume that others are going to be aware of them and they will need to put in deliberate effort to ensure things go the way they want.
While they don’t necessarily want to be the center of attention, they feel that they will inevitably end up involved in, or at the center of, anything meaningful that occurs. All three types can bring a lot of value and intrigue to social situations, but have issues processing their emotions and admitting their vulnerability. Instead of letting others know how they feel when they are uncomfortable, they become expansive and egocentric. They take over the space in a way that demands that others react to them.
They may talk about themselves excessively, direct the conversation to something they’re more interested in, or even let others know what they plan to do instead of staying in the current social situation (“Who wants to leave and go to a different bar?”). While their assertive style may help them get their needs met, it can be disruptive to the people around them.
At their best, Demanding types bring the energy and entertainment, breaking the ice, making people laugh, and keeping things interesting for themselves and others.
Withdrawn types
The Withdrawn triad includes 4s, 5s, and 9s. These types tend to withdraw from the world and others in social situations to get their needs met, retreating into their imaginations where they are more at ease.
When they walk into a room, they often assume that they are separate from what is going on, even if this is explicitly not the case. In a group setting, their unprocessed thoughts, feelings, and impulses tend to bubble up into their minds, pulling them away from the present. They may prefer to consider their inner world rather than interact with others.
If they are uninterested or disengaged with the topic of conversation, they may fully (though non-disruptively) zone out as a form of unconscious rebellion against the group. While their strategy to withdraw is adaptive when they want to be left alone without causing disruption, these types can have difficulty taking action when it is needed.
At their best, Withdrawn types are deep and socially observant, giving space to others to share about themselves, while offering up creative and thoughtful insights when they choose to open up.
Next week, we’ll tackle the Coping triad, delving into the three different styles that the types use when they face stressful or difficult situations!